Heaven’s Summer Vacation: A No-Go?
When people picture heaven, they usually imagine peace, golden streets, choirs of angels, and zero stress. But here’s the thing—if you’ve ever planned a family summer vacation, you know that even paradise isn’t strong enough to handle the chaos of travel season.
I mean, think about it. If heaven offered summer vacations, who’s running the logistics? Saint Peter at the gate, acting like TSA? “Sorry, ma’am, you can’t bring that oversized harp on the plane. You’ll have to check it.” Angels with clipboards assigning room keys? And let’s not even get into the line for cloud rentals—because you know someone’s going to demand the convertible version.
And then there are the activities. Every vacation comes with the classic “What are we doing today?” argument. Half the group wants to sit by the pearly-gate pool sipping holy mocktails, while the other half insists on booking a twelve-hour guided tour of the Eternal Gardens. You think it’s bad trying to corral kids at Disney? Try herding saints who’ve been waiting centuries to ride the heavenly rollercoaster.
Food would be another nightmare. Sure, manna from heaven sounds fancy, but eat it three meals a day and suddenly everyone’s begging for a cheeseburger. Imagine the Yelp reviews: “Five stars for scenery, minus two for lack of tacos.”
And don’t even get me started on souvenirs. What do you bring back from heaven’s gift shop? A halo keychain? A “My Guardian Angel Went to Heaven and All I Got Was This T-Shirt” tee? It’s a hard sell.
The truth is, maybe heaven doesn’t need a summer vacation package. Maybe heaven itself is the ultimate vacation—the kind where there are no lines, no lost luggage, no overpriced sunscreen, and absolutely zero chance of a kid having a meltdown in the middle of baggage claim.
So yeah, “Heaven’s Summer Vacation”? A no-go. Not because it wouldn’t be fun, but because paradise doesn’t need planning. And honestly, if you ask me, that sounds way better than any beach trip I’ve ever taken.
