After Being Diagnosed with Stage 4 Breast Cancer, I Wanted to Finally…

After being diagnosed with stage 4 breast cancer, I wanted to finally live—not just exist, not just drift from one day to the next, but truly live. It’s strange how the words from a doctor’s mouth can turn your entire world upside down, yet also snap it into sharp focus. Suddenly, the things I once thought were urgent—emails, chores, petty frustrations—seemed trivial. What mattered most was love, connection, and making sure I didn’t leave my dreams locked away in the “someday” drawer.

Shifting Perspective

When I first heard the diagnosis, fear hit me like a tidal wave. The word cancer echoed in my ears, and the stage number attached to it felt like a countdown. But once the shock settled, I realized something profound: every day from that point forward was a gift I didn’t want to waste. I couldn’t control the illness, but I could control how I chose to spend my time.

That’s when I started writing a list. Not a dramatic bucket list filled with skydiving and climbing mountains—though those things are incredible—but a personal, intimate list of experiences that mattered to me. Things like visiting the beach at sunrise, singing karaoke even if I was off-key, baking my grandmother’s favorite recipe, and telling the people in my life exactly how much they meant to me.

The Power of “Finally”

There’s something liberating about the word finally. For years, I had put things off because I was too busy, too tired, or too worried about what others might think. I’d always say, “I’ll do it later.” But later is not guaranteed. Cancer gave me the clarity to stop waiting.

So I finally signed up for that art class I’d been eyeing. I finally wrote the first chapter of the book I always said I wanted to write. I finally reached out to old friends, even if it had been years since we spoke. These weren’t grand gestures; they were simple acts of reclaiming joy.