Franklin’s Hilarious Stand-Up: Shell-Shocking Laughs!
Most comedians walk on stage with swagger. Franklin, however, takes his sweet time—literally. Being a turtle means his “walk-on” is less of a stride and more of a slow-motion entrance that lasts long enough for the audience to finish their drinks. But once he gets to the mic, oh boy—his jokes come out faster than his legs ever could, and the laughs? Shell-shocking.
Franklin’s comedy career started by accident. One day, while sunbathing on a log, he overheard the ducks quacking about how boring pond life had become. Franklin, never one to miss an opportunity, crawled onto a rock, cleared his throat, and started roasting the frogs for their “ribbit, ribbit” chorus that always sounded out of tune. The ducks laughed so hard they nearly tipped over. That was the moment Franklin realized his true calling: stand-up comedy.
Now, Franklin is a pro at mixing observational humor with self-deprecation. His opener? A classic: “You think your morning commute is bad? Try crossing a road when everyone’s yelling, ‘Hurry up!’ I’m literally at top speed, Karen!” The crowd roars every time.
Of course, Franklin never misses a chance to poke fun at his own shell. “People ask if I get tired of carrying my house around,” he says. “No way—it’s the ultimate Airbnb! Zero rent, all utilities included. The only downside? Can’t get good Wi-Fi in here.” The snails in the front row always nod in sympathy.
His relationship jokes are crowd favorites too. Franklin’s on-again, off-again romance with a sassy tortoise named Gloria has provided enough material for a Netflix special. “She said I wasn’t emotionally available,” Franklin jokes. “Of course I wasn’t—I was hiding in my shell. That’s literally what I do!”
What makes Franklin’s act truly hilarious is his timing—ironically impeccable for a creature that moves slower than molasses. He pauses, blinks dramatically, and lets the silence hang just long enough for the audience to lean in… then lands the punchline like a pro. It’s a skill no one expects from a turtle, which makes it even funnier.
And his crowd work? Legendary. If a duck waddles in late, Franklin quips, “Nice of you to fly in—oh wait, you can’t fly straight, can you?” If a raccoon heckles, he doesn’t miss a beat: “Buddy, the trash can is outside. Don’t make me point you back to your dinner.”
What seals the deal is Franklin’s closer, a bit about how humans treat turtles. “They always pick us up in the middle of the road to ‘save us.’ Sweet gesture, but have you ever been halfway across a crosswalk and someone moves you back to the start? Thanks a lot, pal—now I’m late and confused!”
By the time Franklin retreats into his shell for a final bow, the audience is doubled over, wiping tears of laughter. He may be slow on his feet, but his comedy is lightning fast, sharp, and unforgettable.
From pond-side open mics to barnyard comedy nights, Franklin proves that laughter has no speed limit. Shell-shocking? Absolutely. And judging by the standing ovations, Franklin isn’t just funny “for a turtle”—he’s one of the funniest comics around, period.
