Matt Mathews’ Spooky Halloween Confession: We Said It!
Halloween is supposed to be about scares, sweets, and spooky fun. But if you’ve ever followed Matt Mathews, you know he can’t resist turning even the creepiest night of the year into pure comedy chaos. And this year? Let’s just say the confession he made had us cackling harder than a witch who just discovered Amazon Prime delivers broomsticks.
It all started when Matt decided to decorate the farm for Halloween. Most people hang a pumpkin or two, maybe string up some fake cobwebs. Matt, of course, went full Broadway production. Skeletons in the chicken coop, glowing pumpkins in the donkey barn, fog machines that made the goats look like they were walking straight out of a horror movie. The animals were not impressed. Henry the donkey snorted at a vampire bat prop like it had personally insulted his family, while the chickens huddled together as if preparing for an exorcism.
But the real confession came during one of Matt’s infamous story times. He sat down in front of the camera, witch hat slightly crooked, holding a candy bucket way too big for one man. “Y’all,” he began, “I have to admit something. I didn’t buy this candy for trick-or-treaters. Nope. I bought it for me. And you know what? I already ate half the bag. We said it!”
Cue the dramatic gasp—and the laughter. Because if there’s one universal Halloween truth, it’s that no one buys candy “for the kids.” That’s the lie we tell ourselves while shoving mini Snickers into our mouths at 10 a.m. on a Tuesday. Matt just said the quiet part out loud.
Of course, he didn’t stop there. Between bites of candy corn (which he declared “the devil’s earwax”), he admitted he’s scared of haunted houses, refuses to carve pumpkins because “it’s just messy surgery on a vegetable,” and once dressed as a sexy vampire only to have a neighbor ask if he was supposed to be Dracula or a sleep-deprived raccoon.
The beauty of Matt’s Halloween confession is that it wasn’t really spooky at all—it was relatable. Who among us hasn’t “taste-tested” the trick-or-treat stash until we had to run out for a replacement bag? Who hasn’t jumped at a motion-sensor skeleton in Walmart, only to pretend we were “just checking the batteries”?
So here’s to Matt Mathews, the king of saying what we’re all secretly thinking: Halloween isn’t about the perfect costume or the scariest haunted house. It’s about sugar highs, laughing at ourselves, and realizing the real monsters are the friends who actually like candy corn.
We said it.
