Replying to @bamashan74: The Unofficial Ringmaster 🤣
Okay, @bamashan74, you caught me. You called it. I’m over here trying to be the “responsible adult” in the group chat, and y’all are just determined to turn this whole thing into a circus. 🤣
I really do come in here with the best of intentions. I promise!
I crack my knuckles, I sit down at my keyboard, and I think, “Today, I’m going to drop some actual gems. I’m going to provide some value. I’m going to share the blueprint, the answers to the test.”
I type out a thoughtful, well-researched, helpful post. I’m talking paragraphs. I’m talking bullet points. I’m trying to save you time, money, or at least a minor headache. I’m doing the Lord’s work over here, trying to hand you the cheat codes to the game. I hit “post” and think, “Yes. This will help people.”
And then… y’all arrive.
The comment section immediately derails. It’s like I’ve carefully built a ship in a bottle, and you’ve all decided to see if it floats… in a blender.
I’m trying to be the serious professor, and y’all are the back row that just found a whoopee cushion and a laser pointer. I’m trying to give a serious tutorial, and the comments are just “lol” and a string of clown emojis.
Me: “Here is a detailed, five-step plan to improve your credit score.”
Y’all: “Step 1: become a pirate. Step 2: find treasure. Step 3: pay in gold dubloons. 🤷♂️”
Me: “Here’s a nuanced take on a complex social issue.”
Y’all: “Sir, this is a Wendy’s.”
I’m out here trying to throw you a life raft, and y’all are asking me if it comes in a different color and trying to start a water fight. I am the one, single friend in the group trying to plan the vacation logistics—”Okay, who has their passport? We need to book the hotel by 5 PM”—and the rest of you are just sending memes and arguing about what snacks to bring to the airport.
And there’s @bamashan74, standing on the sidelines just pointing and laughing!
You know what? Fine. Y’all win. I see what kind of energy we’re on today. I’m clocking out. I’m officially resigning from my post as the helpful one. From now on, I’m just here for the chaos.
I’ll be in the back with the rest of you, passing out the whoopee cushions. Y’all are terminally unserious, and I can’t even be mad. It’s hilarious. Don’t say I didn’t try! 🤣
